Being Still

Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out of darkness, and the darkness around you will be bright as noon. The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring (Isaiah 58:10-11)

For the last three months, I've been reading Ann Voskamp's book along with a group of ladies at my church. This small group on Sunday mornings have been the highlight of my week. I crave the escape that it's become for me. An hour and a half that slows everything down and allows me to see all of God's gifts. You see this book came at just the right time for me. First, it was the season of thanksgiving followed by The Advent and then onward to the  New Year. These three months is such an extraordinary time. It is the perfect opportunity to relax, reflect and made resolutions. I must admit that we often miss it due to our frantic way of living and the rush of the holiday season. My Thanksgiving was perfect, pure bliss. I didn't get much sleep, but I enjoyed every waking minute. I cooked and baked until 3 in the morning and got back up and started again. My mom and I both agreed that this holiday was different. Why? I think we both had made up our minds that we weren't going to rush or stress over anything, we wanted to enjoy the day, along with all the surprises that came with it. As we cooked around each other in our little kitchen, we laughed and remained firmly in the moment. A moment that wouldn't be afforded to us ever again. What a gift it was to have my sweet mum with me. How many beautiful moments do we miss due to our need for speed, or our fascination with creating the perfect post for social media? I'm only 25, and I feel as if I've lost a lifetime of memories because I'm rushing to be ten steps ahead of the game. The sad part is that life isn't a game that we can speed through. There are gifts that God has given to us every day that we fail to notice. That's primarily is what Ann's book is about: God's gifts. 

So I was in the prayer the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, and I strongly felt that God was revealing the next topic that I would discuss on here would be the spirit of Martha. I had a conversation the other day with a friend, and we were talking about love languages and how we felt that acts of service are how we frequently expressed our love. We both agreed that we wanted to change that this coming year. For my friend, they knew that it was a learned behavior and in many ways, it was one for me as well. A practice I took on because it protected my heart and added to my sanity. You see I thought that I could do it all, and handle what life threw at me. It's easier to be like Martha somehow. To be in the back serving in the kitchen, making appearances every so often but missing out sitting at the feet of Jesus. So many of us miss out on the relationship with God and with others around us because of the work. The work that has to be done right now and needs to be completed in this small window of time. We live a lot of our lives in the future, forgetting the present. 

I had always heard the story of Mary and Martha and knew that I never wanted to be like the latter of the two. Being the oldest, she assumed most of the responsibility for the home. Their home was known for their hospitality, Martha also paid special attention to detail. In her busyness, she found it hard to completely relax and enjoy those around her (I'm guilty of this). Martha grew so frustrated with her sister's lack of cooperation; she brought it to Jesus to settle. He lovingly corrected her and told her that though she was doing a good thing, it was not the best. In her strong desire to do everything right, she was still missing the point of it all. Getting so caught up in the details can make us forget the main reasons for our actions. That was one of the gifts I was far too busy to accept. My loving Savior extended rest and peace, and I just continued to reject it. 

God's work is fluid, and I've been amazed at how He orchestrates things in our lives. I told you before how God told me I had the spirit of Martha. So at church later on that same day, a visiting minister who was asked to speak last minute felt in prayer that God was leading him to talk on Rest. In Genesis 1:1-31; God made it known from the very beginning that rest was mandatory. It was the first thing to be called holy. He explained how we are missing out on valuable things due to our business. I know for me I carry around burdens that I need to give to Jesus. He is patiently waiting for me and calling me to quality time with Him; I'm ashamed to admit that I'm often too busy. I get caught up with the work and forget the real reason why I'm doing the work in the first place. In my attempt to do it all I become weary in my own version of well-doing. But how can we make a difference if we aren't allowing Jesus to fill our cups back up? Y'all I was blown away at how on time that word was and how God was practically giving me every sign in the book that I needed to change something in my heart. 

One of my goals this year is to be present. Work can often "rob us of the grace that's here in the present moment." Father Jeffrey Kirby writes that "Living in Western culture, oftentimes marked by a rapid pace, unforgiving spirit, and raw ambition, we all could benefit from these essential tutorials about what it means to be human. These lessons can serve as welcomed candles in the darkness, giving us a guiding light and a secure direction in the course of the night." I don't intend to become lackadaisical in my work, but I do aim to be more productive. This can only be achieved when I rest when its time to rest, being still when its time to be still and allowing God to refill my empty cup.