Finding a New Beginning

As Summer comes to an end  I can't help but think on how fast it flew by. I've always had a love-hate relationship with this season. I don't typically enjoy change, but I can always feel when it's necessary. The summer isn't always the most productive; I find that it goes by far too quickly to do anything. The Summer happens to be my favorite season. The Florida girl in me loves that I can wear loose clothes and slip on sandals without thinking about piling on a million layers. I'm also anemic, so I gladly welcome the warm weather. But Fall is by far the one I enjoy the most. In sweet old Georgia, the weather is perfect, and just a glimpse of the outside will cause just about anyone to swoon. As a kid, I was always ready to begin school again. I thoroughly enjoy productivity and routine; something I'm craving nowadays. This summer has flown by and has left me frantically cleaning up the mess it has made. 

Life has become so busy; we forget to tend to the things that are essential. What often goes overlooked is us. So with that said,  I want to start by setting goals and doing everything to ensure that I fulfill them. My health has become the thing that comes first and foremost in my set of objectives. I didn't  have a choice in the matter. I can't do anything if I'm not in good health. I have to say no to that girl's trip because I've missed too much work and can't afford it or maybe I'm just too sick to go. I mention all of that to say this. We can't do anything we want to do if we're not in good health physically as well as a having a healthy mind and heart. If you're not healthy in how you think of yourself and others what kind of person can you be to yourself and others? Keeping my leaves green is something I have to deal with regularly. As a realist (or pessimist to some) I can at times find myself in the very depths of despair. I become depressed about what I haven't done or things I should have done differently. I have to remind myself that every mistake has taught me lessons that I wouldn't have been able to learn otherwise.

How does one learn without lessons? As a twenty-five year old, I now welcome opportunities for growth. I don't enjoy those hard lessons that always seem to hurt me to my core. Yes, I'm sensitive, but I'm hard on myself. I know I'm not perfect but bad decisions do me in. I loathe the part where I have to pick back up the pieces. Somewhere during that experience, I learn different things about myself, and I find out why it didn't work. In the process of figuring out why it didn't work, I stumble upon a different path that leads me to things that have bettered me and ultimately changed me. Don't curse the tough things you go through. The trials and hardships we go through bring out the best in us. In James, it says that the trials of life produce maturity (1:2-4). 

You have to trust that in time you will find the change that you seek. It will take time. The hardest part is getting up and doing it. Don't be scared to take that first step. That action will lead to walking and once you've done that you'll begin to run and as you've mastered that, the farther you'll go. I'm not quite at the running part, but I keep working towards that goal. Back to goals. Success doesn't come over night, and it sure isn't easy. That's why only a few of us actually "make it." Making it is hard, and it's a path that not many are determined enough to continue pursuing. We all know those people who have a million and one resolutions in the new year. Statistics show that over 80 percent of New Year's resolutions fail by February. I had to tell myself that even though I was apart of that 80 percent who failed within the first month, I will remain resolute in fulfilling my goals. This Fall is my new start. 

So I challenge you to do something that scares you. You won't see growth until you first take a chance. For me, it was this blog. It was something that I wanted to do, but it scared the living daylights out of me.  I had all these ideas, went and did the research, educated myself, bought books and talked to different people, yet still, when it came to writing, I was scared. Afraid of what people might think. Whether or not I would be accepted, received, but ultimately I feared rejection. I dragged my feet for months. I had to get out of that. It took me feeling sick again to realize how I needed to get back on track with things. So here I am, trying to find my way back to taking care of me.

 I heard it said once that "If it doesn't scare you, you're probably not going in the right direction." My personality usually causes me to accumulate a lot of anxiety over making decisions. I want so much to get it right. Perhaps I did far too much day dreaming growing up. I had to realize that life is a journey and a process. You live, and you learn. Sometimes we're blessed with pleasant surprises and other times met with severe hurdles. Life keeps on moving, and the world keeps on turning. We can't change what was, but we can change what is, but only with HIS help. 

XO Jadah